yep. it’s her, again…
Ally-fucking-Sheedy.
I got a call today from my publicist/grandmother, and was informed that the sitcom Ally and I were supposed to be shooting the pilot for, is no longer a go. When I asked why the sudden change in plans, my publicist/grandmother informed me that…
“Ms. Sheedy is backing out due to creative differences with the writers, directors, and crew members.” (Ain’t mamaw formal?)
Well, as you can imagine, I’m a little hurt. Seeing as how I am writing, directing and crew-ing the show, Sheedy is clearly unhappy with the way things are being run by me.
I really don’t see what she could be upset about. The premise for the show is rather intriguing if i do say so myself. Picture it: Starkville, Fall of 2010…
The show revolves around Ally living with me in my one bedroom apartment (she sleeps on the couch and I get the room that is rightfully mine), she comes with me to class and takes notes with me (though she doesn’t get any sort of college credit for this), and then she accompanies me during my rehearsals and runs for the shows I’ll be doing (she doesn’t really get to audition or perform, rather just working backstage and filling my water bottle when necessary).
Gold, right?
Apparently not.
Apparently, I’m crazy.
Apparently, I’m plotting my revenge on Ally-fucking-Sheedy as we speak. Or at least, as I type.
Here’s the plan:
- 1) Set up a Breakfast Club reunion, via The View. (I’ve talked with Whoopi and Joy, and they are just as pissed. They were set to be recurring characters)
- 2) When the rest of the Club doesn’t show up, since it’s a fake reunion, interview Sheedy alone and ask her what she’s been up to. Her response? Not that much.
- 3) I come in last minute as a “surprise guest” and let the ladies know the show I’m working on will now feature Molly Ringwald as my co-star, because “another” “actress” had to drop out last minute.
- 4) Give Ally Sheedy the death stare when I say “another” “actress”
- 5) Guest star on Glee. (Just ’cause. I’ll have the spare time now that Ally-fucking-Sheedy dropped my show)
- 6) Get invited to the newest disaster telethon hosted by George Clooney and bring Sheedy along with me, positioning her in the phone booth right next to me.
- 7) Disconnect Ally Sheedy’s phone line so she raises no money for said disaster, making her look foolish and low-class to the A-list community
- 8) Get Ally Sheedy to go onto Celebrity Survivor with me where I vote her out in the first tribal council.
- 9) Orchestrate a collective silent treatment for Ally Sheedy at the Celebrity Survivor reunion show, including all cast, crew, audience and Probst.
- 10) Premiere in the Fall of 2010 with Me & Molly: A Southern Tale to the highest ratings ever.
- 11) Call Ally-fucking-Sheedy once the Nielsen ratings are in, and laugh a hearty laugh.
- 12) Send Ally Sheedy a box of Kleenex in the mail, with all the tissues removed.
Best. Plan. Ever.
