I love making sense.
It’s one of my favorite things to make.
And you can make it out of anything.
Today I couldn’t. And I got so mad.
You see, today I realized something….when you can’t make sense, have peace.
(I am channeling my friend Kris Lee right now with the whole “have the title of your blog, in your blog” and I’m not apologizing. Hopefully Kris will not be mad.)
My friend/teacher/huge inspiration in the ways of being a genuine person died today. Her name is Lora.
(I actually just typed was Lora. But that’s not right. She’s still here, and she always will be.)
She battled cancer. And damn it to Hell on a Black Sunday when it’s raining, did she battle it.
You see, I really was not too terribly close to Lora. She taught me Newswriting last semester. I am eternally grateful that she did, because 1) it rejuvenated my love of writing and 2) I got to share in her wisdom, knowledge and overall amazing-ness.
But I can’t make sense of it. So instead, I’m having peace.
Peace gets delivered. It’s not something you can make. And as far as I’ve gotten away from the maker of this Peace, I know who has it. I know the address, and thank God the number is only a prayer away. Again, thank God.
A part of me feels somewhat indulgent in writing this. I know there are so many people grieving right now. People that were her closest confidants, friends and family members, whose grief I could not possibly understand and be able to bear right now. But these are my thoughts, and I have to get them out. My mother always said, “Better out, than in.” This is the reason for burping prowess that passes all understanding.
I don’t get cancer. In fact, I hate it. And I hate cancer because of this one fact: it doesn’t matter how strong you are sometimes. And Lora was the strongest. Again, it just makes me mad. And I hate it. I hate it so much.
So without dwelling on that, I’m having some peace. I got it delivered this afternoon. It was a beautiful gift and treat. I wanted sense, but it wasn’t on the menu. And between me, you and the pack of marlboro lights on the coffee table, I’m glad I got peace.
I will end on this note, then go to bed, check on my friends tomorrow and thank God on the way.
My friend Lora went to Heaven today. She left behind a legacy of kindness, compassion, truth, perseverance, grace and class. The inspiration she gave to generations of students and friends is invaluable and will always be remembered. My friend Lora is in Heaven right now. And because of that, I’m having peace.
