Little Scotty Matheson sat in the back pew with his paternal grandmother, Edna, during Sunday worship services at Oak Shade Baptist Church in Middleton, Nebraska. Scotty was 5. Edna was 68. Scotty tried to be good, obey his parents and that sort of thing so that he wouldn’t make the Lord mad at him. Edna had been speaking with the Almighty for decades now. From her standpoint, He knew her flaws, and she knew His. His flaw being that He didn’t care for gossiping during the sermon.
Edna never cared for this aspect of the Alpha and Omega.
So while Scotty tried to sing along with the choir that his mother sang in, Edna whispered and slipped the occassional note to her Bridge club friends Kathy Stewart, Marie Blackburn and Dorothy Shoemaker. At the end of the sermon, Pastor Charles prayed over the congregation, then devoted a special time for “all of God’s sheep seated here today” to have their own personal prayers said aloud at the same time. The sound that erupted was both confusing and holy.
Edna prayed for her family, that lunch would turn out well or that “the store would flourish.” The “store” was a package store in walking distance of her home, and “flourishing” meant that she hoped they didn’t run out of her Jameson’s when she needed it. She usually needed it around 7am and 7pm everyday.
Scotty, on the other hand, didn’t know what to pray for. He, of course, prayed for his mother and for his school grades. But Scotty felt cheated. He didn’t want to keep praying for the same thing over and over again. So, he began to pray for all of the people that Edna and the Bridge ladies would talk about it.
Sunday June 7, 2009: Sermon Topic – “The Illusion of Control”
“Dear God,
Thank you for today and everything that you have given us. Please be with momma tomorrow when she drives to work, and please let me finish my coloring book tomorrow during class. With no gray crayon, the elephant on page 13 is giving me some trouble. But that was a good frog and lily pad, right? Also, please be with o ur neighbor Mr. Raskins. Mamaw says he can’t get it up. I’m guessing she means his prayers aren’t being answered, so please give him patience. Help Ms. Nancy Holmes find a new favorite color too. Mamaw says she wants to wear white at her wedding coming up, but if she does then everyone will make fun of her because everyone at church knows she couldn’t carry off white since she was 15. I like blue. Help Nancy like blue too. And please be with Deacon Jacobs. Mamaw’s friends seem to think he can’t stay on the wagon. Let Deacon Jacobs know that I can ride my wagon real good, and I can help stay on longer if he wants the help. Thank you for sending us Jesus and always loving me. Amen.”
